This is it. One more sleep. Just one more sleep until I get my new iPhone! Tomorrow is the day that I'm eligible for an upgrade, and off to the AT&T store I will go. I am very excited, right? Of course! I mean...I think so.
For those of you who haven't heard the drama, I lost my iPhone earlier this year in April. It was one of those mornings were I was rushing around and so not in the moment like I want to be. My family had been involved in a car accident the previous weekend, and we were blessed to come out of it with nothing worse than a totaled car and a broken wrist on my part.
That morning I needed to get my son off to kindergarten, and drop my daughter off with a friend while I went and got x-rays on my wrist. As any mom can imagine, nothing that morning went smoothly, and I was in a mad rush to get to the doctor's office on time. I dropped my son off at school and met my friend in the parking lot to hand off my daughter before racing to the doctor's office. Well, somewhere in that fast and furious exchange, I must have dropped my iPhone off my lap and out of the car. It wasn't until a few hours later, when I went to call my friend to check on my daughter, that I realized that the phone was missing.
I did all the backtracking, phone calling, and praying to try and find the phone, but it never turned up. A few days later, I saw the case to my phone lying in the middle of the road under the traffic light by my son's school. Excitedly, I ran out to get it, but sadly the phone was not in it. It was then that I realized that someone else was now the happy owner of a new iPhone.
My immediate reaction was to go to the AT&T store and buy another one. Surely my insurance would cover it. This wasn't the first cell phone I had lost or broken, so I had been through this before. One phone lost in a taxi in the city, another flushed down a toilet (don't ask - I wish I was kidding!). I knew I'd have to go through the annoyance of reprogramming all my phone numbers, but otherwise no big deal. Or so I thought. Apparently, there is no insurance on an iPhone and if I wanted a new one, it would now be $600 due to the fact that I wasn't yet eligible for an upgrade. $600? For a phone? Really? Wasn't there another solution?
And it was with that thought, that I stopped. I actually stopped myself for a bit - stopped my thinking, stopped my worrying, stopped my obsessing - just stopped. I was just in a car accident. I just lost my phone. I just lost 4 days trying to locate that stupid phone. What was I doing?
I'll tell you what I wasn't doing. I wasn't listening. I wasn't listening to the Universe that was trying to tell me to slow down. Trying to tell me to look at all the blessings in my life and to be so grateful for what I did have rather than
be upset by what I didn't. Even thought the car accident was in no way my fault, it was giving me a message. The message of how of little importance material things are compared to the health and life of those you love. So our car was totaled? My family and I were fine. The most precious possessions I have were unharmed in that accident. I believe the Universe was trying to tell me to slow down and enjoy them more.
But how soon I forgot that message. So what if I was going to be late for the doctor's appointment? It wouldn't have been the end of the world. But I forgot that. Forgot the message of slowing down and being grateful for all I had, and rushed myself and my kids once again. And once again, the Universe sent me a message. A message to stop. Slow down. Enjoy. Be grateful for the abundance of blessings in my life. Take the time to enjoy them no matter what.
Before the Universe felt the need to hit me over the head with a brick, I decided to listen to Its message. I would try my best to slow down, live in the moment, and be grateful for all of my blessings. And to show my commitment, I decided to put off getting a new iPhone for awhile. Even when I learned of a way to purchase a more affordable one, I decided to wait. Silly? Maybe. But for me, it just felt right. I wanted to try not adding one more thing to my life that would make it harder for me to slow down and focus on the moment. See if I really could do it.
Well, it is November and I made it. I wish I could say that I have been able to only live in the present moment since April and simplify and slow down my life at all times, but sadly that has not always been the case. I can say though that I have made great strides towards this goal and I truly feel more grateful, more content, and more at ease every single day. I am amazed by the joy and abundance that has come into my life simply by taking more time to enjoy, be thankful, and truly be present with my family and friends.
A great ending to this blog post would be for me to say that I have realized that my life is so fulfilled and abundant that I now know that I don't want something as silly as an iPhone in my life anymore. Hmmmmm... sorry, but I'm not quite there yet:)
I have learned that I definitely don't NEED one to be happy, but WANTING one...well, that is a whole other story!
May your heart be at ease,
Angela सन्तोष
Showing posts with label present moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label present moment. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Wisdom of Our Elders
Visiting my grandmother in the nursing home always stirs up a mix of feelings for me. I have begun to get used to the fact that she doesn't remember who I am most of the time, and that she definitely has no idea who my kids are. I have also come to accept that with her physical ailments and her dementia, this is the best place for her to be. I accept it even if it makes me sad to see her there. It is so very hard to see someone who was once so vibrant and active - a mother of 7 children and 2 foster children! - now wear an ankle monitor, sit in a wheelchair, and need 24 hour care. We used to spend time together talking, shopping, traveling, going to the beach. She was always energetic and in love with life. She had a tremendous love for animals and people and she could talk to anyone - from the cashier at the local supermarket to the friends I would bring to her house on the Cape. Now much of what she says is jumbled with criss-crossed memories of the many different events and times of her life. But even though her mind and her body are failing her in so many ways, I am still touched by her spirit every time I go and see her.
My grandma has always been someone I looked up to as being positive and full of love and faith. Being around her, I still get that feeling. The feeling that life is beautiful and is meant to be enjoyed. When I arrived at the nursing home today, she was sitting outside in her wheelchair beside my father. She had her eyes closed, her head up, and was soaking in the sun. A big smile came over her face as she took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh, warm air. Then she just sighed a happy "mmmmm" and clasped her hands in prayer. Sitting in her wheelchair in the late morning sun, she looked like the happiest person in the world. And at that moment, she just may have been.
Later in our visit, my kids discovered a butterfly and proceeded to go about catching it. This little activity caused quite a bit of noise as they knocked into benches and bushes outside and kept setting off the automatic doors to open and close. Not wanting them to disturb anyone (or break anything or anyone!), I asked them to settle down and come talk to their great-grandma. But my grandma wouldn't have it. "Let them get that butterfly," she said. "That is what kids do." Then she again closed her eyes, and got a big smile on her face and said, "And please let them keep laughing." Even though she could not remember who these children were in relation to her, they were still children. And they were children who were bringing her such joy just by being kids. Being in the moment. Laughing, enjoying the day, and not having a care in the world.
Happiness in the present moment. The greatest gift there is because the present moment is all we really have anyway. And what a treasure to be happy in it! Today, my grandmother reminded me of this. She may not have her memories of the past and no sense of the future, but she still has the present moment. And she still can enjoy that. Maybe more so than the rest of us, because it is not cluttered with regrets of the past and worries about the future.
The next time I find myself in the past or future of my hurried mind, I am going to try and remember my grandmother's smile from today as she felt the sun and listened to the kids' laughter. And I am going to use that image to remember to appreciate the moment. The beauty around me. The love of my kids. My health. My family and friends. The many blessings in my life. And then I am going to take in my own deep breath, soak it all in, and thankfully clasp my hands in prayer.
Thank you grandma. I love you.
May your heart be at ease,
Angela सन्तोष
My grandma has always been someone I looked up to as being positive and full of love and faith. Being around her, I still get that feeling. The feeling that life is beautiful and is meant to be enjoyed. When I arrived at the nursing home today, she was sitting outside in her wheelchair beside my father. She had her eyes closed, her head up, and was soaking in the sun. A big smile came over her face as she took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh, warm air. Then she just sighed a happy "mmmmm" and clasped her hands in prayer. Sitting in her wheelchair in the late morning sun, she looked like the happiest person in the world. And at that moment, she just may have been.
Later in our visit, my kids discovered a butterfly and proceeded to go about catching it. This little activity caused quite a bit of noise as they knocked into benches and bushes outside and kept setting off the automatic doors to open and close. Not wanting them to disturb anyone (or break anything or anyone!), I asked them to settle down and come talk to their great-grandma. But my grandma wouldn't have it. "Let them get that butterfly," she said. "That is what kids do." Then she again closed her eyes, and got a big smile on her face and said, "And please let them keep laughing." Even though she could not remember who these children were in relation to her, they were still children. And they were children who were bringing her such joy just by being kids. Being in the moment. Laughing, enjoying the day, and not having a care in the world.
Happiness in the present moment. The greatest gift there is because the present moment is all we really have anyway. And what a treasure to be happy in it! Today, my grandmother reminded me of this. She may not have her memories of the past and no sense of the future, but she still has the present moment. And she still can enjoy that. Maybe more so than the rest of us, because it is not cluttered with regrets of the past and worries about the future.
The next time I find myself in the past or future of my hurried mind, I am going to try and remember my grandmother's smile from today as she felt the sun and listened to the kids' laughter. And I am going to use that image to remember to appreciate the moment. The beauty around me. The love of my kids. My health. My family and friends. The many blessings in my life. And then I am going to take in my own deep breath, soak it all in, and thankfully clasp my hands in prayer.
Thank you grandma. I love you.
May your heart be at ease,
Angela सन्तोष
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