So my wonderful husband and I were blessed with the opportunity tonight to go out and have dinner together - alone - no kids! Ahhhh.... Life is good.
During our dinner together, we had time to talk about some of the things that have been going on in our lives over the past couple of weeks. And because I am truly blessed with a husband who cares for me and how I am feeling, I found out that he was very upset about some unpleasant interactions I had to deal with in the past week. He was not only concerned for me and how I was dealing with the events, but he was also confused about how I was handling them. Or in his eyes, how I was not handling them.
I'm not sure when the change in me occurred, but I am much less verbal and much more active in my approach to changing my world. I'm not interested in making people see my opinion and trying to convince them to make it their own. I'm much more conscience of creating change by example...by my everyday life and how I live it. If someone disagrees with me or finds fault with me, I am actually OK with that. I don't have this intense need to prove I am right and they are wrong. I'd rather just continue to let me be me and let others be who they are. If they learn something from me or can become more positive because of witnessing my attitude (at the right moment of course!) than that is so much more gratifying than thinking I proved them wrong in a shouting match, argument, or debate.
I just don't feel the need as much to defend my opinions. If I believe in something or want to change something, I DO something. I don't waste time "preaching to the choir" or trying to get everyone to see things my way. I have found that the best way to make a change is to DO something about it. Not talk about it, preach about it, argue about it, complain about it, debate about it...but do something about it.
Now don't get me wrong. If I need to, I can take a stance and stand my ground very strongly. And don't even get me started when it comes to my kids. I'll fight for anything for them. But there really is just this huge shift in me as of late that doesn't want to prove that "my thinking is right and yours is wrong." Because the truth of the matter is that some of the things I was convinced were absolute truths five years ago are complete falsehoods to me now. I grow. I change. I see the world with different eyes. And my opinions, my outlook, and my beliefs sometimes change with the tides of my life.
I've always found it funny when people yell at a football coach for being awful or blame a president for all of the country's present woes. Really? Are you strong enough - brave enough - crazy enough to run an entire team; and entire country on your own? Are you telling me without a doubt that you could do better? Until you are in someone else's position completely, you really have no idea what you are talking about.
So, do I have my own opinions and beliefs? Of course I do! Will these opinions and beliefs be the same five years from now? I don't know. But that is the beauty of being a listener and a learner - and not a fighter and an "all knowing" debater. I am willing to grow, and learn from others. I'm not afraid to say "I don't know" and use that to explore further. And I don't need to prove someone wrong in order to feel validated or secure in my own beliefs. I'm a soul living in a human body and I am on this earth to make it a better place for all souls - not just for me.
Maybe this makes sense to you, or maybe it does not. That is OK. It is just the way I feel at this present moment. As I told my husband - my loving partner who was afraid that I was not standing up for myself and that I was being treated unfairly - I just don't want to spend any more energy on being negative. I don't want to waste my time trying to change others by telling them why they are wrong and I am right. I know who I am. I know what I value and what I believe. I choose to focus on the positive. I'm not going to let negative energy bring me down. I don't want to use my time in this world to keep fighting off that negative energy. I'd rather give out as much positive energy as I can. That is my strategy for standing up for myself and fighting back. I don't want to live at that lower negative frequency. It doesn't do me any good to build my strength or power with that kind of energy.
And besides, being positive about everything really annoys the hell out of negative people. What better revenge in this world is there than that!
May your heart be at ease,